New Age: The iPhone 6s of Religions

My background as a reformed new ager

Hi, I’m writer 13013. I humorously call myself a recovering new ager. Although I still struggle with it at times, I’ve let most of it go. I was really invested in it. I had an office and a hypnosis and NLP practice. I went to every seminar in the book. I followed spiritual meditation practices that drew upon what I learned to be astral (parasitic) energies. I called on guides. I even invented my own spiritual therapy at one point. New Age is really like the iPhone 6S of religions, a new and improved form of the old trap. I’ll explain.

I was lucky enough to meet a friend Christy (AKA The Garden Hoe on this site) who was about true awakening and nature and not the new age awakening that just goes in circles. If a guru told me today that I needed to work to be as enlightened as him I would truly run the other direction! A true awakening hurts – it includes hard times, pain, and real work. The Garden Hoe saw what I was doing as a new ager and knew I could have the real thing and put me to work in her garden for a couple of months. It was the garden that did a lot of the work - Christy is no guru (that's another trap, though she's awesome!) I got my hands dirty. I looked at myself, I learned, I thought original thoughts for some of the first times. It was painful at times and honestly quite blissful at others. It took months of digging in the dirt to get out of my head. I got a lot of truth from the dirt and plants and got back in my body.

It seems that true awakening never comes in the package that new agers are looking for. You can’t take on spirituality like you take on a new car! It is hard work! I had to kick out the astral parasites that are set up to pose as enlightened guides. A lot of it turned around when I went to kick out an NLP entity as well as other new age entities. When I kicked out a new age entity one day, it turned into a dark parasitic being right in front of me. Once I broke the agreement with it, it showed me what it really was! It was really creepy and I’ll never be the same. I kicked out all New Age entities after that. Here’s a radio interview from Cameron Day who can tell you more about this astral attack by beings posing as light beings, angels, ascended masters, guides, etc. He calls New Age the “New Cage” movement. Cameron was key in turning me around.

Kicking out astral attackers was tough at first, and at the same time I was hearing real truths from The Garden Hoe and looking at myself in new ways. I was exploring life and working with my pain. I started moving instead of just sitting still in a cloud. And it was painful and a lot of work at times!

The kernel of truth and why it’s so compelling.

The reason why New Age is so compelling is because there is a kernel of truth in it. We are all one, we are all connected, there is energy connecting it all, it’s just not anything like they teach you in the new age movement. They take a kernel of truth and twist and distort it until it has very little value. Not that the people in the new age movement are bad – a lot of them are really good people, it’s just they are caught in the specialness trap, what The Garden Hoe calls boxes - thinking that you are better, more enlightened, or more ascended than others - any time you don’t think of everyone as equal to you.

What I had to do to begin a true awakening and give new age the boot

I took a good hard look at my life and I’m still on the journey. True awakening, and I didn’t even use that term at first, is a lifelong journey. It’s beautiful and painful. It’s a lot of fricking work. I got my hands dirty in the garden. I got more busy and more out of my head (though I still struggle with that sometimes). I shut down my office and told all my friends that I was quitting the hypnosis and NLP business. It was rough. I lost most of my friends! Only recently have I been able to reconnect with them and share what I have learned.

Light beings and Ascended Master Guides are really parasitic astral attack – you are being hosed over!

When you call out to an ascended master or light being as I used to, you are being hosed over! It is a parasitic being posing as a light being and sucking energy off of you. There are a lot of theories as to what the astral is really like, but as far as I can tell it’s mostly a crapshoot and it seems to be built on top of this dimension in some way. It’s build to control. Almost all religions, like Christianity and Buddhism for instance, are controlled by astral beings as well, which is why I call New Age the iPhone 6S of religions. It’s shiny and beautiful and attractive and supposable “better” but it’s the same control story. You can’t take on spirituality like you buy a new shiny car! It just doesn’t work that way. I need to note that not all New Agers are under Astral Attack, but I’ve found that many, many are.

What’s next – new age plus? Why New Age is the iPhone 6s of religions – the New “Cage” movement.

What’s next – New Age Plus? It’s truly a New Cage. It’s growing all the time. People are denying their true feelings and focusing on love and light and acting like they have no negative parts whatsoever. Worse than that, they are taught to kill their ego. If you deny your ego, you make that part of you control you and get stronger. The only true way to grow is to embrace your “negative” parts and truly nurture them. They are your inner child.

How New Age is actually going in the wrong direction

Because the New Age is killing the ego – the inner child, feeding the specialness trap, and sometimes asking for astral attack it is actually going in the opposite direction of what the people are intending to do with it. Many new age philosophies actually teach to detach from the ego so strongly that it shrivels to nothing, which kills your inner hurt parts – your inner child. It’s a horrible thing to do.

You are being manipulated by new age hypnosis and NLP constantly

I thought I’d show you something. One thing I discovered in my work with hypnosis is that we are being constantly manipulated by advertisement. That’s another problem with one area of new age – hypnosis, NLP, and manipulation. Even if it wasn’t putting yourself in a box and asking for astral attack, look at this advertisement for cell phones:

First, “anywhere and anyone” is a classic hypnotic method of using vague language. What happens when you use open vague language like that is that it registers in the reader as important just for them in just the right ways. It’s a classic trance technique – programming your mind to feel slightly fuzzy and slipping in programming that registers in just the right pictures. You fill in the pictures in your mind because it’s so vague, and you get slightly dissociated.

Secondly, the word “Only” is very packed. It is what’s called a “presupposition” in NLP, negating whatever follows it. It’s ONLY $39.95 makes $39.95 seem small. Programming again.

“Switch Now” is really slick. It’s called a presupposition. It “presupposes” that you are going to switch, it’s just are you going to switch NOW or LATER? Look close. It’s like the old sales trick, “Do you want the blue car or the red car?” The person doesn’t get the choice not to choose a car. They have to choose blue or red. Do you see that - “Switch Now” Should I switch now or later? It “presupposes” that you will switch and thus buy from them. Real slick.

There’s more manipulation in this advertisement, but those are three ways you are getting programmed by this random cell phone advertisement. They are really slick and know what they are doing. It’s very unfair and manipulative. I just wanted to point out the manipulation that hypnosis does. And this wasn’t even a packed advertisement; I just chose it at random to prove a point. We are bombarded.

Although it’s hijacked, the real thing does exist, but it’s tough!

Back to New Age and if it’s really true. It’s what’s called hijacked. The real truths do exists (we are all one and we are all connected, for example) it’s just the truths get so distorted that they don’t even make sense any more. It’s very sad because these are some of the most beautiful pieces of knowledge a human being can learn.

How to move beyond new age if you’re invested in it

How do you move beyond new age if you are invested in it? You have to be bold and tough! Be prepared for criticism and be prepared to lose friends and colleagues. Be prepared to look at the entities you are calling on and kick them out of your being. Study Cameron Day’s work, he has several videos on YouTube and a website at Get busy. Stay moving. When you have a “negative” feeling, own it and really feel it until it doesn’t control you anymore. Rid your life of everything New Age (but not necessarily all the people), and find a path that is about truth. There are several resources on this website you are reading on that can get you started on a true awakening. And get rid of those words like “ascension” and “enlightened” for at least a while. For a while, I did not even use the word “awakening” They are charged if you are a recovering new ager!

The awesomeness of true awakening

True awakening, though tough and a lot of work, is awesome! It’s the real thing that you’ve been searching for. Be yourself. Know yourself. Don’t let people tell you what is the truth – decide for yourself. Be critical and think! Love your ego and hurt parts; pain can be beautiful and it’s the greatest teacher. Everything is upside down to what you’ve been taught. Get in touch with the plants and animals. But mostly, be yourself. Be creative and find out what you like to do. Don’t cause harm but if you want to do something, do it! Get out of the float clouds and make things happen. We need to come together to make this world a better place, not passively fight about who is more ascended. Love. As a recovering New Ager I can tell you that it’s totally worth it! You have no idea. And it’s tough too. We’re here if you need support, feel free to reach out to me at for support or comment on this article using the form below.